Was going through stuff and saw this today:

Been wondering how and when you fell out of love with me..
Don't know why I did not see it coming even when you said in your chat that you have changed. Should I have seen something coming right there. Was me begging for your love and proclaiming it in ways you weren't ok with (like in this conversation) what put you off?

I wonder if I'll get answers to these questions that keep coming back into my head ever so frequently about what went wrong and how and how could I not see it all falling apart. Everything was so great! like a magical story, like a dream come true...
This conversation was dated just after May, and you were clearly already out of love with me.
For what reason? I do not know... but I should have let that be then and not have allowed myself do things for you just so you wouldn't leave me.. Things I'd never imagine myself doing..

Everytime I wrote here, love was what I felt for you
Everytime I wrote here, I used to hope you'd love what I was writing for you
the way you love your bestfriend writing for her guy proclaiming her love.
You had her as the idol and model of true love, no? why didn't u ever feel like I fell in that category where my love for you could be exemplified too? Just becoz I don't talk abt it? Just becoz you don't know/ hear what I have to say about you to my friends? You have no idea how lucky, happy and wonderful I felt having you in my life. Everytime we had an argument I'd struggle with myself to end it as soon as I could. And you end it all with me by just saying, "You didn't give anything to the relationship" That's so painful. those words. Coming from someone who you thought you were drenching in the shower of your love but realised that he remained in the desert without sensing a drop of love you were showering on him.

I just love you and I miss you so much.

Why did you change?
Why did you say I didn't love you?
Why did you say I don't give a damn to our relationship?
Why did you assume so many things I never said?
Why did you not understand and feel things I meant?

This is all so terrible!

I suddenly have no one to talk to,
no one to consult,
no one to turn to,
no one to find comfort with,
no one to discuss my fears with,
no one to discuss my future with,
no one to laugh out loudly with
no one to cry with
no one to be kiddish with

all down the drain
like the rain

Will you believe if I said, the subject line for this chat was:

I'm not letting you go so easily darling! you are mine and nothing can change that. Period.

I wrote that. hmm.. I don't believe I can proclaim you like that anymore.. I don't have any more rights over you. I don't have the courage to say that to you now that I've been clearly told I'm not the one for you.

Why did you come into my life? Why did you let me dream and weave my entire life around you!

I kept writing and writing and writing here..
You should have just told me to shut up and that all those don't matter anymore.
All these feelings and expressions are sheer waste
You didn't feel it, you didn't need it.
Why did you let me go on with my dream dance of love
when all you did was just sit in the audience and watch it like an outsider?

You: oddu k...........a lot has changed

12:50 AM me: exactly

A lot has changed.

You: so have i

me: no you haven't

u are just masking it all

You: lemme decide that

for myself

me: sure!

12:51 AM I'm not deciding for you, don't you worry!

did I tell you anything? I was just speaking for myself that's all

12:53 AM gone already?

12:54 AM see.. I told you, you are still the same; disappear without informing :P

You: i am what i am ........ its upto you for what you wanna think of me as ......

12:56 AM me: totally!

and I think of you as the sexiest handsome hunk alive! not second to anyone. Not even to the chocolate softie Chinese hero I saw today:he was the cutest though

and I also think of you as my future.

12:57 AM I think of you; I fancy you; The sisters I studied under in college would get scandalized if they could read my mind of what I think of you.

8 minutes

1:06 AM You: have a grt stay at blor

blore

Good bye K

take care

All The Best

bye

me: Good night love

You: Don't make this bharder

harder for any of us