ode to Kamala

Thanks to her, I now exactly know what my gift for my husband will be on his 1st birthday after we wed :) I can't stop feeling elated about it already ... blushing comes so naturally to me now! I'm waiting for that day... come soon, his birthday after wedding ....... :) I love you

Intezaar... kab tak

dekhne waalon ne kya kya nahi dekha hoga...

mera daawa hai ki tujhsa nahi dekha hoga..

jis tarah maine teri raah thaki hai barson

yun kisine tera rasta nahi dekha hoga

What a superb start to the 1st day of my birthday!

You called!!!! and how beautifully and happily you spoke!
You have no idea, meri tho jaan mein jaan aa gayi thi.. aur chehre pe itniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii badi muskurahat phail gayi thi :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I was sleeping till then, and the 1st thing I woke up to the next day of my birthday is your voice baby...
It couldn't have been a more happier start to my new year love!

Maaaannnnnnnn! Buchki papa...
You can sweep me off my feet just anytime with that loving talk and voice of yours!
I love you my love!

You won't believe but yesterday night.. yeah, just before sleeping on my birthday.. I did, what I always thought was silly, too girly.. :) I kissed you. On my phone.. I zoomed you on my screen and kissed those most kissable lips in the world and those cheeks and the forehead for so long that I don't remember when I fell asleep...



Rag rag mein is tarah tu samaane laga..
jaise mujhiko mujhse churaane laga

Hum Tum :)

and then, you send me this now? :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0MUoLjmVmU&feature=related

Acha, chalo hum log ek kaam karte hain!
Same dialogue to dialogue repeat ;)

Hum: tum saalon pehle kitne ache the, aur aaj bhi itne hi ache ho!
Tum: ha ha ha.. bhai main tho aisa hi hoon!

Hum: I'll miss you
Tum: Hum bahut jaldi milenge.. pata hai kyon? kyunki ye zindagi bahut lambi hai par waqt bahut kam hai..




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUjY3fn_Ktw&NR=1&feature=fvwp

Let us also have an arranged marriage talk like this no? It'll be fun :D
Aur hamaare bache agar mujhse pehle nahi aaye tho main tumhare chote chote chote chote tukde karke phir se jodh dungi :)
tumhare tukdon ka main kya karungi! mujhe tho tum wholesome handsome chahiye ;)

Definitely not a match...
..surely not made in heaven


but just perfect for each other!

Today me and mom went to Reliance store..

Remember which one?

http://lovetomeisyou.blogspot.com/2010/09/rejoicing-in-unspoken-yet-understood.html

This one :)

and I was telling mom, how you jumped off the steps like a superman to rescue that old person who was coming up the slope but slipped along with his bike :)

We spent more than half hour there and all the while I was just remembering you :)

How much we walked that day? Almost an hour just in that area.. we prayed outside the temple, and we were walking, walking, walking...

I spent time on the steps, recollecting how you lifted and carried me across them so my legs don't ache...
and inside the store - how we were discussing what to take, what not to take, how to cook different vegetables..
and how you said, you weren't worried of the future now that you know I do indeed know a li'l bit of cooking :P
and how lovingly you said that you were feeling as if we're a married couple doing our daily dose of shopping for groceries and vegetables after which we'll go back home and cook together!


I love you I LOVE YOU!!!
~shouting from the rooftops~
IIIIIIIIII LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

:)

Buchki naanna... I love you re!

nee meedha prema thannukosthundhi!

but baby I'm so bloody confused and so freaking scared :(

I don't know what my future holds for me. I'm scared to get to you coz I feel that I cannot assure a happy future for us :(

I wanted to travel with you, I wanted to take pictures with you, I wanted to mother our baby.. all these, such simple things a woman desires seem like will-not-be-fulfilled wishes to me now.

I so badly want to be with you!

but I don't want to commit to you again coz I don't hold promise.. I don't know..
One day I'm fine, the next day my legs ache like they will die off any moment with such striking damning pain!

What to do?!

I'm loving what I'm doing now.. I know I'm talking to him nicely.. and he is being so sweet to me..
I ask: "Dear Conscience, Can I flirt with him? Just a little?"
Conscience says: "No, don't. you hold  no hope so you should not raise any hopes."
I ask: "Dear Conscience, but I love him so much!" "I want him, I need him"

Conscience asks: "Why? you have treated him so bad all this while, why? why now?"
I reply: "I'm scared. I'm scared of my condition. I'm scared for our future. I want him to hate me so it'll be easy for him to move on... .but I don't want him to move on. I want him to stay.. I want him to stick with me. sit with me through sickness which I foresee happening a lot :(" "I want to live my life with him"
Conscience asks: "How do you want to live it?"
I reply: "hmm.. ~blush~ I can't say all that to you.. I want to do all that to him.. It's gonna be a secret between us.. only for him!" :)
Conscience is curious: "Tell me tell me plz tell me"
So I said: "Ok, this is how I'm gonna live my  life with him...

Before I tell you how I'm gonna live my life with him, let me tell you how I already live my life with him now..
Yes, he is in UK and I'm in India.. but yes, we live together :)

Everyday in the morning as soon as I wake up and prop my body on my elbow to get up from the bed; he appears from nowhere.. slids his hand under my waist, glues his lips to mine and slowly guides my body back to bed. Hugs me for a minute, kisses me on my eyes and forehead, wishes me good morning and smiles at me lovingly. I smile affectionately and shyly, but I don't open my mouth to say good morning coz it'd make his good morning - a dirty smell morning :P

so I get off the bed, quickly brush and then peck on his cheek and lips :)

When time to sleep, change into night clothes, relax a bit, get into bed and sometimes we sleep off talking talking.. sometimes a tiny kiss and a light stroke lead to interesting things..
Sometimes we take turns in protecting each other while sleeping like I have my arms and legs around him and he sleeps like my baby and sometimes vice versa. He has his leg around me, one hand under me hugging me in a circle and the other hand on my head, patting me to sleep..

This is how I live my life with him now..

How will I live with him when we are together?
I don't know yet..
                                                    

but I know we'll be happy, we'll explore, we'll have fun, we'll travel, we'll play sports we'll be a team, we'll dance, we'll sing, we'll have so many happy times, we'll love each other so much for the 1st few years and then we'll plan for a baby.. I'll be with him forever and ever by his side, following him everywhere he goes, and making us a home where he takes us..

I want him by my side while our baby is growing inside me..
I want him by my side holding my hand tight and that it's alright..  when our baby enters the world
I want him with me to help raise our baby..
I'll try my best so the baby and it's cries don't disturb him :) I'm sure he'll hardly sleep what with the new nanhi si jaan to take care of now along with this badi si jaan.  I'll take care of them both, but when I'm tired; too tired and sleepy to even respond to the baby's cries, he will help me get up and feed the baby.. The baby is on my lap with my bosom replenishing him thru it's tiny mouth and I'm resting on my husband's chest with my senses relaxing.. I know he'll take care of us like that.. that well.. that great!

During our initial stages, when we start it off, I'm not jumping on him or scratching him to make wild love to me. It'll all be very slow, very very shy.. I'll even describe for you my wedding day and the phase after that.. but maybe some other time.. a li'l too sleepy now :)"

Conscience says: "Wow! I'm glad I'll be around to enjoy and experience this love"
I smile shyly.


I love him.