I'm not marrying a maid,

I'm marrying you to share my life and not for you to do my work.!! were the exact words my love said to me when the discussion veered around doing house work, cooking, home keeping, etc. etc.

His willingness to share work aren't just hollow words or promises, he exemplifies his statement by helping me and assisting me in all my works. Be it buying groceries, house-hold items, cooking, housekeeping, everything. Earlier, being the feminist that I'm, I had decided I'd never do things that women are meant to do, forced to do or expected to do. I'll do what I like. His openness to do the 'women's' work was what made me shatter my notions about never doing such work. Now, I'm more than willing to do household work coz I like doing it and not because I'm 'supposed' to do it. We both like doing it. Be it making the bed, cooking, sweeping the house, cleaning the bathrooms, washing clothes, arranging utensils, ironing and setting the clothes in their places, shopping for and decorating our home.. When we do it together, we love it.. For us its a time to bond, to talk, to share tips from our mothers of making a house a wonderful home :)

And sometimes when I fall sick he becomes the mother of the house and takes care of all of us so well that I rest and sleep without a worry in my head and with the assurance that everything is in safe hands.

Thank you B.. heartfelt! I feel lucky!
Thank you so much love!

Rejoicing in the unspoken yet understood connection of love

Bas ek mulaqat ki guzarish hai jahanpanah
ye manzoor ho jaaye tho baat ban jaye
was how my filmy request of a meeting went to him..

The desire to meet each other is the same on both the sides but he being he, will 1st make sure I'm alright, in a good condition to walk, fit and fine and can take the stress of getting out of the coziness of home
The concern has just shot up after the recent accident. (my baby becomes my father in such situations!!)
and its difficult not to listen to him or should I say 'obey' his orders.

He is OMG sweet and caring:
Today when we went out for our evening walk to buy groceries, we had to climb a flight of stairs to reach the store and since I've been strictly advised against any kind of stairs-usage by the doctor, I was in a fix. Well, I shouldnt have even wasted my time thinking about an alternative for, in a smooth sweep, his left hand went under my left arm, he tilted me towards him, supported and suddenly lifted me on his side and then placed on top of the stairs.. It hardly took 3-4 seconds. It was the same when we had to come down. It happened like it never happened. I could a lot of ppl on the road and from the shops nearby eyeing us but I was secretly enjoying the envy in the women's eyes for I'm sure they cannot even make their husbands do it to them even in their own dreams; and the thoughts crossing the men's minds if they should be doing it to their women :) Thankfully this time he dint (pull-my-leg type) tease me saying 'that doesnt mean you are not heavy' ;)

And then when we had to collect our shoes from the shoe stand after visiting the temple before we went to the grocery store, my shoes had a strap which I'd have to bend and strap it on. Very graciously as soon as I wore my shoes, he sat down and buckled my shoe even amidst all my protests :) Aiyo!! he doesnt care what ppl would think and goes beyond everything to help me and make sure I'm comfortable. I did notice a couple of stares filled with questions when he was helping me with my shoes. In a male society, where a female is supposed to serve.. she was being served by a male was the thought I'm sure was running in their minds. They were flabbergasted!

And here I was.. without even uttering a word my husband understands every thought that runs in my mind, acknowledges every feeling I have for him and responds to every expression of my feelings for him.

Reminds me of this song:

Jazbaat Jitne Hai Dil Mein 
Mere Hi Jaise Hai Woh Bezuban
Jo Tumse Main Kehna Payi 
Kehti Hai Woh Meri Khamoshiyan
Sun Sako To Suno Woh Jo Maine Kaha Nahin 
Sach To Hai Kehne Ko Ab Kuch Raha Nahin 

Its like I dont have to make the effort of opening my mouth to tell him anything. Its like there is this secret invisible connection b/w our minds that transfers our thoughts to each other.  Even though there is always a sizeable quantity of human species around us our words left unspoken do not go unheard..  Just a look and the unspoken perspectives/ opinions are understood, a raise of the eyebrows and the question understood, a glance around the hall to locate me among the sea of ppl and the concern understood, a turn of the head after bidding goodbye and the 'miss you' understood, a wink and the naughty thoughts running in the head captured.. ha ha ha.. and I can just go on and on about my love.. my pride.. my hero!

I insisted and I'm glad..

I insisted that we be partners in writing our story here, let it not be just one-sided and how sweetly he obliged.

I'm glad I did that coz this helps. It really helps...

I'm hoping communicating this way will help us bridge those tiny gaps and unforeseen cracks, in times of distress, in times of 'no time', to announce to each other that "I love you hamesha and forever!"

Words spoken, reactions given are different from words written, time taken, to read it, understand it, think over it, respond :)

I dont know but I didnt feel bad even when he said, he hates the feeling of not being himself these days and that everything involves me. Guess I wouldnt have been able to express it better on phone but I share his feelings. I dont want me to rule his life like this.. Unlike other lovers (and thats where we are different I believe :) ) I dont want his life to revolve around me, I want his life to be a life of his own, doing things he wants to, irrespective of their effects on me. We should be bonded in this relationship but not jailed. I would love it if both of us have wings to fly and live our dreams and for them go anywhere and everywhere we want to or have to but at the end of the day, we come back to the same nest and sleep in each other's arms :)

I want us to be:

Independently dependent on each other. 
Individually intertwined.
Bonded but not bounded.
Crazy but not hasty.
Practical yet dreamy.
Maturedly childish.
Wickedly sweet...

I know these combinations sound impossible but hey, when its us, even impossible says "Dude and duddette, I'm POSSIBLE - Please let me also in into your love story :D "
And that is how we are..


He has to go and live life alone but does he forget that when he is going, he is taking me along too..
His heart is where I stay
His words are what I say
His side is by which I lay
Now All I have to pray
is that he doesnt forget to calculate my weight of 50kgs in the allowed weight of his baggage ;)


Dont worry sweetypie,
ye dooriyan aati hai so they can let us experience that virah ki agni
remember we read in 8th class in Radha Krishna ki kahani
and to experience the anguish when we are all out to reduce those dooriyan
kill our tanhaiyan
test our patience
test our emotions
(blah! yeh tests tho school ke baad bhi peecha nahi chodthe yaar!)


Its the vague, undetailed yet ascertained happy future
that motivates us to hang on,
even when we have to go away from each other
but thankfully it keeps reminding us,
"soon we are gonna be back together"
and when we dream of the above statement coming true,
it just fills us with more and more happiness that when it says 'together'
it actually, literally, figuratively, every-ly means together :)

Together...

When he looks into the mirror and speaks to his inner self to be strong, to be HIM,
hope he isnt forgetting that he is in fact speaking to me: to be strong and to be him.
To be strong is not too much of an effort, that I already am.
To be him, I aspire to be.. with a few additions and deletions of course ;)


Yes baby, I'll be with you wherever you go, whatever you do.
Its just gonna be a physical detachment for us and nothing else!


I'm not different from you baby
Do not go by those age-old sayings of 'two bodies, one soul'
Coz We are 'one body, one soul'

(mirrored and cloned and set up in two diff places)

(has to be true right? when you stretching your leg helps relieve the tightness in my leg) :)



All my expressions and emotions are for you
My kisses to touch you
My tears to seep into you
My hugs to feel you
My eyes to sight you
My fears for you to comfort
Without making an effort
Coz it comes natural
and thats the way I like it

"We decided no??"








Ah! How I love writing, specially when its for him, about him and to him :)

Snap out of it !!! Come back to reality........

Why do i feel like this ........Strange , Cold at times , like everything around me is just gone.... Loneliness is creeping in. My best friends are in town , yet i feel lazy to put on my pants and make an effort to meet them......... Why !!! I know i am addicted to her. Hate that feeling. I am not myself anymore..... What i used to be and what i am now ....... I have become vulnerable to one girl i've loved the most in my life.........I don't wanna let go............... hold on a little longer, but i have to get out of it. I have to stop day dreaming....... One day i will be gone . Gone long away . Each day would look into the mirror , and would try to convince my inner self, that i have to be strong, Be the ME i used to be.... The ME i used to be, was a stud (not that i am complaining about the present) ........ a dude cared who cared the least , at least when it came to down to girls !!).

      Two Beautiful women of my life Ma and Sis , and now she too has become a part of my life.Such an integral part that i can't stop thinking about her at all....... Day Dreams , Sleepless Nights, Thoughts about her even when i am in the middle of a meeting....When i wake up, the first thing in the morning i check if she has arrived home for Yoga or not..........  She is everywhere , inside me too......!  Strange feeling .........

I am gonna Miss her when i will be gone. I miss her even today !!!

The Only song i believe is pretty situational ....

"Hai kya yeh jo tere mere darmiyaan hai

Andekhi ansuni koi dastaan hai

Lagne lagi, ab zindagi khaali

Hai meri

Lagne lagi har saans bhi khaali

Bin tere, bin tere, bin tere

Koi khalish hai hawayon mein bin tere

Bin tere, bin tere, bin tere

Koi khalish hai hawayon mein bin tere"

I guess i have to face the reality !!! Snap outta it.......... Get Real !!I will be gone in a few days !!! Gottu get used to being alone !!!

Guess what happened today!!!

I'm getting damn bored sitting at home.. living/sitting hell it is doing nothing, specially for an outdoorsy person like me!!

And so I started crying.. and crying.. 1st naatak wala crying and then asli wala crying...
I cried and cried till water came out of my eyes and nose and mouth.

Mummy was trying to console me big time, saying how like this if u cant stay indoors for more than a day?
Dont get used to staying outdoors so much. Don't feel like you are caged indoors.

And I kept crying and whining and kicking my hands and legs into the air.

And then mom says, "Call up 'Bu' and talk to him for sometime" (u'll feel better)

I was surprised but happy to hear that! ;) Mom, you are the bessshht!